I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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