i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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