guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
