i think my mom watched the whole time
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
