You work out of a Hotel?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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