The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
