How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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