I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I love having hate sex.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
