I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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