Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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