I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
