If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
