Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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