Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
