How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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