You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
