I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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