I hate your face
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
