I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
