There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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