East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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