I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
