my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
