So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
