He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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