is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
