how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize