You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
