Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
