what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
