Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
