So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
