I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
