I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize