Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
