We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
