I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
