i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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