Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize