So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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