He uses pillows to masturbate.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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