i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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