apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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