So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
