Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
