see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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