Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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