im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
