Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
