His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Randomize
