Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
