Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
