yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
