My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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