If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
