It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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