do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
