Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
