If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
