so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
