I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
