Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
