My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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