I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
